Not a Sin
by ChibiDevil098
Summary: Romano has kept a secret for hundreds of years. That secret is the reason he joined the church when he was old enough. He prays to be forgiven, but more so to keep the one person he loves away from the depths of Hell. However, that one person has, for the first time in years, returned home for Christmas. How could he react? Warning: Blasphemy, religious themes, smut.


Romano sighed as he lit the candles of the holy cathedral. It was Christmas Eve, the most important celebration within the Catholic religion. The day their savior was born. However, Romano could not think about that. Once again, just like he had when he was much younger, Spain would not be home. Since the Italian became older, he had decided to become a priest along his brother. His reason for doing so? If you were anything other than his own conscience, it was because he was devoted to his religion. The truth? Romano had many reasons.

The one that pushed him to it was to have more time becoming closer to the lord. Perhaps by doing so, his prayers to keep Spain safe in the New World would be heard. The greatest reason, the one in deepest reaches of his mind, where even he was repulsed by it, Romano had become attached to Spain in a way two men should never be. He had hoped that by becoming a member of the church, his sin could be forgiven.

"_For a man sleeping with another man is an abomination." _

"_Thou shall not sleep with mankind as you would with womankind." _

He had heard all this and more. The Italian had shunned himself from being so repulsive. He should not have felt this way about Spain. The man who ruled his territory, raised him. Yet he couldn't stop this sin from spreading. There was not a day when he didn't think about the Spaniard. The older nation had taken over his thoughts slowly.

Nobody knew this. Not even his younger brother. Romano went through countless lies to keep his disturbing secret away from him. Oh heavens, if his brother found out then he would surely tell the head priest. The last thing he wanted was to go through punishments for being corrupted. He could almost hear the crack of a whip hitting his back as he screamed for forgiveness.

Romano took a deep breath and swallowed the bit of saliva in his mouth before kneeling at the altar. He fluently recited the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Creed in his native tongue. After a few moments he prayed inside his head.

'_Dear Lord, please forgive me, for I have sinned. I know my feelings are impure and that I must be ashamed, but I can't get rid of them. You of all people must know that I have tried. I keep my distance as much as I can around that Spanish idiot, yet it only makes things worse. The last thing I want is to drag him to Hell with me. Please, if you can't save me, at least save him. I realize that what he is doing is also sinful'_ He shuddered at the thought of Spain and his army pillaging civilizations, _'but I beg of you to one day cleanse him. Amen.'_

The Italian shakily stood up from his spot and made his way out the grand hall. He looked over at the windows, watching the sun slowly set. He briefly thought of 'El Imperio donde el sol nunca se pone.' To think that he was technically part of that empire was strange.

His ears picked up the sound of the large door at the front of the cathedral opening. It seemed as if the people of his country had begun arriving for mass. Romano inwardly sighed when the church bells rang harmoniously, a signal to beckon others inside. His eyes gazed over at the window once more before going back to the altar. His brother was already standing there next to the head priest. He was greeted whole-heartedly with a hug from him.

As each seat was filled and the organ played its song, Romano felt the eyes of someone within the walls of the building looking dead at him. The longer the mass went, the more he felt those piercing eyes. His own eyes had scanned about the rows, but he could not find anyone looking at him at all. Who was watching him so closely if they weren't even in sight?

Mass ended without interruption and the citizens all bid their final prayers and left. Romano, however, could still feel the intense gaze on him. His stomach churned in anxiety. _"Brother?"_ His relative asked, _"Is everything okay?"_ Romano nodded quickly, _"Everything is fine Feliciano. I'm just going to bed early."_

"_O-Okay then…"_

He swiftly left the altar and went into the halls that led to his room. The eyes continued to follow him. Unable to handle the suspense, Romano turned around, _"Show yourself! W-who the fuck are you and why are you following me!"_

He was answered by a small chuckle, "I don't speak Italian very well, but I'm almost sure you shouldn't use those words, Roma." That voice, that accent. He knew it all too well. "Sp-Spain?" Romano asked in their shared language. The Spaniard stepped out from the shadows to reveal himself to his territory. His curly brown hair was in its usual ponytail, his green eyes shun brightly. His pirate wear was messy as if he just came from a quarrel, "It took you so long to notice."

Romano flushed red in anger, "You stupid jerk! What the fuck are you doing here, bastard? Shouldn't you be in the New World?"

"I see that tongue of yours hasn't changed," Spain hummed, "I decided to come back early this year. So we left a few months before we were supposed to."

"Why would you do something stupid like that?"

"Because I missed you. I haven't had a Christmas with you in hundreds of years."

Romano couldn't stop his heart from fluttering. He…He missed him? No that cannot be true. "Shut up, bastard. It's your own fucking fault that we don't spend Christmas together," His voice held venom. The older man's smile faded, _"Eso es verdad…_but maybe this year is different. I'm here so why don't we-"

"No. I'm tired and want to sleep."

"But Roma-"

"Goodnight, bastard." Just as he reached for the door to his room, another hand stopped him. He gasped as he glared up at Spain, "Let me go basta-"

"I don't think so," The Spaniard growled, "I dropped all of my duties as a nation to come visit you and you do something like this. It was my fault for spoiling you when you were younger but you should be more grateful of what I did. All you ever do is avoid me when I try to get closer. Why is that?"

"I-I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!"

"Don't lie to me Romano."

"Why do you even care?!

"Because I love you!"

Romano didn't have time to respond. He was soon pinned against the door frame, a pair of warm lips crashed against his. Too many things ran across Romano's head. Want, desire, completion, repulsion. He felt bile trying to make its way up his throat as Spain kissed him. He wanted so desperately to kiss back, but his morals would not let him. Eventually, Spain broke the kiss for air and was disappointed that his underling did not return the kiss. Had he been wrong? Did Romano not feel the same way?

The Spaniard released his hold on him, "I'm sorry. I thought that…"

"Be quiet," Romano said harshly, "Don't. Speak." His thoughts were in turmoil. Everything he had done, all his prayers and promises just went down the drain. There was no questioning it. He had been such a dirtied sinner…and he dragged the man he loved down with him. Tears pricked at his hazel eyes and he slid to the floor. _"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"_ He repeated over and over in his native tongue. How could he have been so disgusting?

Spain watched the scene in front of him. He had no clue what just happened, but clearly it was a terrible error. He knelt and tried to comfort the Italian, only to have his hand slapped away. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Romano screamed as tears ran down his cheeks. "What's wrong Romano?" He asked gently. "Nothing, just go!"

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

"I'm not going to tell you!"

"Then I will never leave," Spain cupped the younger male's chin in his hand. His chest ached at the distressed look on Romano's face. Romano blushed and tried to push him away. Emphasis on tried. Spain refused to move at all, "Oh, Romano. Just tell me. Is this about the kiss?" Romano flinched then looked away. That's a yes.

"If you didn't like it-"

"That's not it, bastard."

"Then what is it?"

"I…I liked it…I loved it…"

"So why are you crying?"

"Because in case you forgot, idiot, it's a sin to be with someone of the same gender!"

Oh, so that's what it was. The older nation sighed and wrapped his arms around his territory, who squirmed in his embrace. "No Lovino, don't try to get away," He whispered into his ear, "I know this must be confusing for you and that you feel repulsive-"

"N-not helping b-bastard," Romano choked. Spain kissed his cheek, "Let me finish. Even if that's the case, you are not a horrible person. If God thought of you that way, of _us_ that way, surely he must have punished us by now. You're so perfect, Lovi. Look at all you've done so far just to be forgiven. No other person I know would do this. Never think of yourself as a sinner. So you fell in love with a man, that's not a sin, unless falling in love is considered a sin these days," He brought the boy closer; "I'm going to say this once. _Te amo, __más que todos los tesoros que he encontrado. _You are the only one for me. No other woman or man could make me as happy as you could. What we feel is not a sin."

With that, another kiss was sealed. Romano felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders. Spain had assured him that what he wavered on for years_ was not a sin._ He nervously kissed back and wound his arms around the Spaniard's neck. His heart pounded as they parted and Spain looked into his eyes, "I made a small prayer during the mass."

"Did you?"

Spain nodded and gently nipped at Romano's bottom lip, earning a whimper, "I asked to have you all to myself, no interruptions." The younger of the two became a deep shade of red. He pressed their lips together once more then mumbled, "I think that will be granted." The Spaniard smirked and picked up his lover. He opened the bedroom door, wasting no time to lock it behind him.

They kissed in a heated frenzy, teeth scraping against each other every few moments. When Romano gasped, Spain took the chance to slide his tongue inside. Romano's eyes fluttered close as he felt the warm tongue exploring every inch of his mouth. No place was left untouched. He grasped at the Spaniard's coat and shyly moved his own tongue against the other. They didn't have to battle for dominance, for the winner was already quite clear. Their tongues danced in each other's mouths passionately.

Spain moved a hand to the bottom of Romano's robe, sliding it inside. Romano moaned as the calloused hand caressed his skin. His body easily began to react, melting under the Spaniard's touch. He broke their lip-lock, "B-bed." His voice trembled in want. Spain just couldn't refuse the command. He carried the boy to his bed, pinning him down the moment he could.

His lips latched onto Romano's neck, sucking and biting at every patch of skin available before the robe got in the way. Romano feared that marks would be left but the thoughts were washed away as Spain nipped at the junction between his neck and shoulder. He tilted his head back and moaned, _"Spain…please."_

"_Paciencia, amor." _Spain whispered huskily. Romano whimpered in frustration. He wasn't completely sure what his lover just said, but it sounded similar to the Italian word for patience. He couldn't do that. He has waited long enough for this and he deserved to have it now. "Bastard," He hissed when Spain pinched his nipple under the robe. Spain hummed lightly as he continued, "That won't make me go faster, Lovi." He continued teasing the sensitive bud under his hand. It stood perked in attention for him and Romano whimpered.

The Italian decided to move as well. As much as he enjoyed being touched, he also wanted to be the one touching. He reached out and took off the pirate coat from the conquistador, revealing a loose shirt with a deep v-neck line. His eyes glazed over as the other man's tanned skin was revealed to him. He saw the muscles of Spain's abdominal area and pectorals. He licked his lips, leaning forward ever so slightly. His hands roamed the body he longed for, yet stopped when he felt a scar.

Spain froze his own ministrations, leaving Romano in a confused daze. Spain attempted to move his underling's hands away but the latter simply brought them back. Romano bunched the hem of the conquistador's shirt and took it off. Spain cringed, knowing that Romano now saw what he had never let him lay eyes on before.

The Spaniard's body was covered in scars. They crossed each other like barbed wire, surrounding his skin like a confinement. Some were faded, some just formed, and others were in the process of fading, leaving a strange bruise-looking color. He was ashamed of letting Romano see and his expression gave that away. The Italian simply hugged him, "You were hiding these from me?"

Spain nodded without a sound. "Can I ask why?"

"I just…I didn't want you to know."

Romano rolled his eyes, "Look bastard. I know you want to keep me away from what you do in the New World but I'm not a fucking kid. You fight, you get hurt, and that's what happens. Plus…" He bit his lip, "You always accepted me with all my flaws. I-I'll accept you for yours." His face was a bright shade of red. "You look like a tomato," Spain laughed. "Shut up, fucker."

He pulled Spain back down to a kiss as they started once again. Not long after, his priest robe was removed. Spain stared at the half-naked man below him. He stopped his green orbs right at the bulge in the Italian's under wear. Romano felt embarrassed as he was eyed with lust. His pulse quickened significantly when Spain began trailing kisses from his collar down.

"Ngh! Spain! N-no!" He whined when the older male sucked on his nipples, "Not there~ Ah!"

Spain licked at the pink bud, "But you enjoy it. They're begging for my attention." Romano cursed at him for saying something like that. They both knew it was true though. The underling's body was aching to be touched more, the arousal between his legs proving his need.

A hand crept down to the stiff length and rubbed it gently. Liquid fire coursed through Romano's veins as he arched his back, hips grinding against the hand, "Mph~ A-ah!" Spain pulled down his lover's underwear then stared hungrily at his length, "Look how hard you are, Lovi~."

"D-don't say th-_ah_-t!"

His comment was heard by deaf ears. Spain took hold of the member, pressing his thumb against the tip. Romano bucked then whimpered. His wanton body needed more. He gyrated his hips closer to the warm hands that held his cock. Without hesitation, Spain pumped him. His large hands traced ever vein on Romano's length, watching as pre-cum slowly began dripping down. He leaned forward and whispered into his ear, "Boss just wants to eat you up."

Romano let out one of many gasps when he looked back into Spain's eyes. They were not warm or gentle as they usually were. No, the green eyes that stared at him were now feral and possessive. It almost terrified him to think they belonged to the same person that was kind to him. That must be what all the Spaniard's victims in the New World felt. A spark of jealousy ran through him. He remembered hearing that sometimes the Spanish army raped the Indians in the New World. While Spain had said he could never be pleased by anyone else, that didn't mean he never attempted to touch others.

The Italian's nerves were washed away by the quickened motion of Spain's hand. His member was already sticky and wet from the amount of pre-release. A sound of sloshing filled the room, spiking their arousal. Spain watched intently as Romano withered beneath him. He felt each pulse of the cock in his hand; his own problem was becoming extremely evident, though Romano was in too much of a haze to notice at all. _"Spain! More! Oh, please don't stop!"_

"This isn't even the best part," He chuckled. His other hand moved up to his underling's lips, _"Chupa." _It didn't take any thinking for Romano to understand what it meant. He greedily took the fingers into his mouth, running his tongue over them in a lewd manner. He whimpered in a high pitch as he began sucking, coating the long fingers in saliva. By now a bluish had covered Romano's entire body. Just the way his lover looked at him was enough to drive him to the edge.

Right before he fell, Spain stopped and removed his fingers from his mouth. Romano squirmed, "N-no…keep going."

"Oh, Lovi, I have every intention to," Spain let his wet fingers move down, "Spread your legs a bit." The younger male obliged, giving Spain the view he wanted. The Spaniard lifted one of Romano's legs and pressed his index finger against Romano's puckering hole. Romano cringed, "Spain…" A kiss silenced him. "Shhh. It's okay Lovi. Trust me," Spain said soothingly. He pushed his finger in, making Romano flinch in discomfort.

It was so strange. Romano had never touched himself there before, being intruded now just felt foreign. He yelped as the finger was pushed further inside, his rectal walls clenching and releasing around it. When he became used to it, Spain added another finger. This time it hurt. Tears formed in his eyes and he tried to move away, _"I c-can't…damn it bastard get your fingers out!"_ He was ignored and the fingers worked their way. They made a scissor-like motion, stretching his hole more than it already was. He grasped at the blankets, forcing himself to relax. He thought it would be impossible, until one of the fingers barely brushed against something inside.

He threw his head back, "_Oh, yes!"_ Whatever his lover just touched, he wanted him to do it again. Spain smirked down at him, "Do you like that?" He moved his fingers to that spot again, curling them as they scraped against the organ. "Yes! F-fuck~" Romano began to move against the hand once more, trying to bury the fingers in more. His eyes looked down and noticed the prominent tent inside the Spaniard's trousers. He reached to the top of the cloth, "O-off." Spain worked his fingers faster, "What?"

"I s-ah-id. Off! Ngh!"

"I heard you, but what should I take off?"

Romano growled in frustration, "Loose your _fuck_-ing pants, dip shit!"

"Why should I?" The fingers were left pressing against his prostate. He moaned loudly then moved on his own to keep the friction going, "I n-need it! _Please! I want you inside of me!_" He heard the rustle of fabric, followed by something being thrown on the floor. His hazel orbs glanced down to see Spain's erection free from confinement. _'Holy shit! He's big!_' Romano inwardly panicked. How the hell was that supposed to fit inside of him? He had almost cried from two fingers!

As if he voiced his thoughts out loud, Spain planted a small peck on his lips, _"No te preocupes, __cariño. _I promise it will fit, just relax and look at me." Romano nodded and focused his attention on Spain. He was caressed gently, soft kissed were peppered on his face, and the fingers inside him were slowly pulled out. He sighed contentedly as he was showered with extra attention, not that he would admit to liking it.

Spain took the chance to position himself right at Romano's entrance. His self-control was starting to slip but he knew he had to be careful. This wasn't a prisoner, or a slave, or a concubine. This was Romano. The same Romano he had raised after invading and conquering the southern Italian states after the Italian Wars. The one territory he wanted to protect above all others. The only person to ever make him fall in love. He kissed said person before pushing in the tip of his member.

Romano hissed and clung to him. Pain shot up the young nation's spine. He knew it would be too much, "Stop! Spain! It-it hurts!" Spain held him close, "I know, I know."

"No you don't! Do _you_ have a dick being shoved up your ass?!" Tears rolled down his eyes in pure agony. His lover wiped away his tears, "Lovino, the pain is temporary. I prepared you earlier so this actually hurts less." Romano whimpered, he didn't want to imagine the pain being any worse. Spain pushed himself in further, struggling to do so. Romano's inner walls were clenching tightly to push out his penetrating length. He had to think of a way to sooth him. He looked up to find the curl Romano had bent in an awkward form. He remembered that Romano hated it being touched, but why?

Spain reached his hand up and tugged at it. Romano screamed in ecstasy before his body went limp, allowing Spain to thrust all the way inside. The Italian breathed heavily when he felt the length deep within him, "F-feels weird…"

"Does it still hurt?"

"No-_oh_!" He barely finished his reply when Spain began moving. Their pace was slow, for Spain didn't want him to feel pain once more. Romano grasped at his curly brown locks. Each thrust created a blissful friction within his body. When Spain would pull out, he'd whine, only to throw his head back at being filled once more. "Ahn! Ngh! B-bastard…" He managed to say, catching Spain's attention. "Wh-what is it, _a-amor_?"

"Faster."

Spain hesitated in doing so. What if he accidently went too hard? Romano seemed to notice his worry, "Please…d-don't hold back ah-Antonio…" He might as well have set a forest on fire. No sooner had he said that, had Spain began ramming into him. Grunts left from Spain's mouth as he rutted against his lover. "_Yes! Antonio, more! Harder! Antonio! Antonio! Antonio!_" Romano screamed. The bed trembled underneath them. The sound of skin slapping against skin resounded.

Spain dug his nails into Romano's hips and pulled him closer, grinding their hips together. Pleasure coursed through them, blinding them from everything outside their love making. Spain concentrated on finding Romano's prostate once more, changing his angle to do so. Once he hit it, Romano convulsed under him. His walls gripped tightly at his cock, pulling him in deeper. The pleasure inside Romano was so great that he thought he would die from it. He began to rotate his hips around, meeting Spain's harsh thrusts. His sensitive spot was brutally beaten into until it became too much.

"_Antonio! I-I'm going t-to-oooh!"_

"_H__azlo,_" Spain growled, he went faster, as if that was possible. Romano arched his back as semen shot out of him, _"ANTONIO!"_ He tightened profoundly around him before falling limp once more. Spain continued to pound into him, his own climax approaching. As it did, he buried himself deep within the Italian, shooting his seed inside until it leaked out the hole. He pulled out and collapsed next to Romano, wrapping his arms possessively around him. _"Te amo,"_ He said lowly. Romano shivered and cuddled closer to him, "_I love you too."_

The next day, Romano woke up in the warmth of someone's arms. He looked over and saw none other than the Spanish bastard himself. Blood rushed to his cheeks as he remembered what happened last night. His stomach churned in regret until the soothing words rang in his ear.

'_What we feel is not a sin.'_

A shy smile crawled up his face. For the first time in thousands of years, Romano felt complete. Spain shifted as he woke up from his slumber. The first thing he saw was his newfound lover, his precious Romano, "Good morning, my love."

"Good morning," Romano sighed out, "Merry Christmas." Spain's eyes widened in realization, "Merry Christmas. That reminds me." He took his coat from off the ground and went through the pockets. He pulled out a necklace with a jewel right in the middle, "I saw this and wanted to give it to you." Romano thanked him then glared, "Idiot. You should have told me you got me something! I would have too!" Spain leaned in, quickly kissing him, "I think last night was a present enough."

Romano turned different shades of red, "_Shut up you damn bastard!"_ He would have sat up, if it wasn't for the immense pain from his hips down, "I hate you, Antonio."

"I love you too, Lovino."

* * *

**A/N**

**Merry Christmas! Or whatever you clebrate~**

**Oh thank the Glorb that fanfiction is working again. Anyways, this is my first Hetalia fic even though I've been in this fandom for quite sometime. I'm very sorry if this wasn't a good story, it's been a while since I've written one-shots like this and this is my first published yaoi. Please correct me if you see grammatical errors.**

**Now then: I hope this didn't offend anybody. Okay, I myself am Catholic and by no means have any intention of offending the religion in any way. **

**Second, of you're wondering why Spain was the only one 'actually' speaking a different language, it's because that's the only other language I know fluently. Sorry, but I don't want to butcher any language by using Google Translate.**


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